How To Support Your Child and Yourself During College-Decision Season

Do you sometimes wish days away just so your child can receive the outcomes of their applications? Do you have to remind yourself that the college application journey and decision are your child’s to make, not an opportunity for you to have a do-over? If you answered yes to either or both questions, you are not alone. 

From being both a parent and a college counselor, here are the most important lessons I’ve learned so far:

1. Dedicate time to talk about college. During the waiting period, agree with your child on a once-weekly day and time to sit down and talk about anything college related. This won’t take away your daily urge to ask, “Did you check your portals?” but it will stop you from doing so. This dedicated time could include providing gentle reminders to check their email and portals, writing thank you letters to teachers and counselors who wrote letters of recommendation, further researching the schools they applied to, applying for private scholarships, or simply checking in with your child.  

   
   

2. Be prepared for rejection. It’s a normal and common part of this grueling process and often comes down to numbers or college fit. Your calm, depersonalized reaction will help your child navigate their own feelings. Your role is to listen, not to fix. Once they are ready to talk about next steps, you can share your own “failure” experiences and how you moved forward, and focus on the positives of their journey so far.  

   
   

3. Keep your stress in check. Make sure to prioritize your own well-being during this challenging season. You are still a role model for your child, so seeing your healthy habits is important, despite them leaving the nest soon. 

   
   

4. Avoid Comparing - Even Positively. “This is better than X” or “Your cousin would kill for this” invalidates feelings. Each student’s process is personal, even if outcomes look impressive on paper.

Final Remarks

For many of us, parenting during college-decision season (or any time!) is tough. Be kind and gracious to yourself, making sure to offer yourself the same compassion you offer your child. As you make your way through this journey, celebrate the big and small moments along the way.