There Isn't One

“How will I know which is the one?” As I looked at the student posing this question, I felt all of her nervousness plus the pressure from a process that is not only unfamiliar in the beginning, but has elements completely out of our control. I looked into her eyes and hoped she could truly hear what I had to offer, “I promise you, there isn’t a “one.”

Each year as students kick off the college admission process, the weight of choosing a school that fits their criteria can provoke feelings beyond the typical excitement, however, there’s good news: You have great guidance awaiting any questions or concerns you may have. It is important to remember you are in the right place at the right time. At Caryn Marcus Pre-Health and College Advising, our process has been fine-tuned from a combined 20+ years of college counseling experience. One step you can take now to begin, if you haven’t already, is to start visiting and taking the student-led tours. A common misconception is that you need to commence with a visit to your favorite college or university. Perhaps this is one where there are multiple alumni in your family tree. It is unnecessary to make this your first encounter, especially if it isn’t convenient. Often college counselors will impart this advice to their students, visit an urban, suburban and rural school to see which setting fits you. The same applies to size: Small, medium and large. We could call this the Goldilocks Effect. The difference, of course, is that while Goldilocks was essentially committing a crime by entering without permission, the colleges/universities highly encourage you to come see the campus. The importance of visiting should never be underestimated. Every year as we begin again, and we inquire from our new students if they have any idea of where they want to go, we get a variety of answers, yet as those same students head out to visit institutions they were certain about (but had never been before) their minds are changed. In other words, nothing will replace the feeling of standing on a campus and imagining yourself there.

The most important part in this entire process is to trust yourself. If you have a “gut” feeling, follow it. This may be extremely challenging for parents sometimes. This even happened with my own child. We had flown into the Boston area to see a handful of schools. We were on day two of this trip, though we had previously toured schools in our area. As the info session wrapped up at this well-regarded institution, my child turned to me and said, “I’m out.” I felt like saying, “We flew here to see this school and we’re going to see it.” Before I even had an opportunity to get these words out of my mouth, the reasoning given by my then 17 year old was so sound and wise, I chose to listen. He said it was partly instinct followed by specific reasons why this would have been a waste of our time. At that moment, I needed to trust my child. I reminded myself that one year later this same child would be navigating on their own.

So, as you embark on this adventure, we hope you see it as a journey to find what suits you; if there’s any assurance you can take from our knowledge, you’ll have many options, not just one.

Written by Laurie Gross

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